i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
