she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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