You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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