I just cut my nipple shaving
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
