part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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