Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
