you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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