why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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