There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
