Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
