I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
