My boss' voice literally gives me gas
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
