the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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