You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
