He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
