4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
