yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize