Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize