How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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