we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
