end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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