Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
