Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
