I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I need to align my fucking chakras
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
