you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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