how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
