is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
