I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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