I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
