I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
false alarm, still single
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