he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
