Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
