so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
