I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
