Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
