i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
