dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
