All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
