She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
