Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
whose parrot is this?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
