i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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