Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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