Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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