you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
