dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
