so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
