the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
