so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
