Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
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