I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
