Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
