3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I accidentally had phone sex last night
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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