i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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