so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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