38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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