i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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