beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
